这个世界上特别的事情很多，是人想象不到的。虽然想象不到，可是，什么事情一半是天造的，一半是人为的。天造的，人若不为，也不会成功；人若为，而天不造，也是没有一个根本。因此世间的事情都是对立的，有善就有恶，有阴就有阳，有是就有非，有好也就有坏，这是一种对待法。
In this world, there are many unusual things beyond our imagination. These things are created partly by people and partly by heaven. If people have no part in them, they cannot happen. If people contribute to them, but they don't follow the will of heaven, they cannot happen either. Everything in the world is relative: if there is good, then there is evil; if there is yin, then there is yang; if there is right, then there is wrong; if there is good, then there is bad. These are all dualities.
这个对待法，你若会做的，坏又可以变成好；不会做的，好也可以变坏。会用功的人，阴气最盛的，也可以把它调和得有一点阳气。阳气太盛的，也可以把它调和得有一点阴。阳是属动，阴就属静；阳是属刚，阴就属柔。好坏是由人而养成的，因此说
Those who know how to work with dualities can turn bad into good. Those who are inept turn good into bad. Intelligent people can regulate themselves and keep their yin and yang energies balanced. Yang is characterized by movement and hardness, yin by stillness and softness. People develop good or bad characters over time.
近朱者赤，近墨者黑，
染于苍则苍，染于黄则黄。
Getting close to rouge, one turns red.
Drawing near ink, one is stained black.
If you dye something blue, it becomes blue;
If you color it yellow, it turns yellow.
因为这个，所以在中国有个孟子，他是亚圣。这圣人，小的时候就没有爸爸了，只有妈妈带着他过日子。最初他们的邻居是个杀猪的屠宰场，因此这个小孩子天天就学杀猪，学屠宰的这种事情。他妈妈一看，啊！这不可以让他自由发展，不可以教他学杀猪，做屠宰的这种事情，所以就赶快搬家。 一搬嘛，又搬到一个坟场的旁边，这个孟子当时就学挖地造坟，祭祀这一类的事情。小孩在那儿摆上个碗，祭祀祖先；看人家到那儿烧香化纸，他也在那儿烧香化纸。他妈妈一看说，这个不得了，若由他自由发展，这小孩子长大了，会变成一个埋坟的人，这有什么用啊！唉，赶快搬家！赶快搬家！不能由他自由发展，因为“近朱者赤，近墨者黑”。
An example of this principle is Mencius, the “second sage” of China after Confucius. Mencius' father died when he was very young, and he was raised by his mother. At first they lived near a slaughterhouse. When Mencius' mother saw him imitating the butcher, she thought, “I shouldn't let him follow his inclinations and learn to slaughter animals.”
Then they moved next to a cemetery, and the young boy learned how to dig graves and make offerings to the deceased. He watched people place offerings on the altar for ancestors, light incense, and burn paper money, and he soon learned to copy them. His mother thought, “This will never do! If I allow him to develop freely, he'll end up doing these kinds of things when he grows up. How will that help him? We'd better move, or else this environment will be a bad influence on him.”
于是又搬家了，搬到一个学校的旁边。那么这学校的学生上学向圣人鞠躬，放学也向圣人鞠躬，回到家里向父母也行礼，在学校也好好读书。孟子家里没有钱，虽然没有钱，但是他有学习的能力。他看人家怎么样，他就模仿模仿，怎么样去读书识字，进退有礼，礼仪如一，他就学这个。孟母一看，这回我要在这儿住下来了，这个孩子一学，学好一点，不要由他自由发展。
They moved again, this time next to a school. At the beginning and the end of the school day the students bowed to the sages. They studied hard at school, and bowed to their parents when they got home. Although Mencius' family was poor, he turned out to be a good student. Following the others, he learned to read and study, and he learned the rites and rules of propriety. Mencius' mother was pleased. “I'm going to stay here. My boy is learning and becoming a better person. I will raise him carefully.”
那么在这儿一住，以后孟子学啊学，时间一久，他又讨厌了，就不读书，又淘气，又调皮。孟母那时候织布，看儿子不读书了，就把织布机割断，布也不织了。孟子一看织布能卖钱，维持家庭生活，那么母亲不织布了，生活的来源断了，怎么办呢？就请问妈妈，为什么把这个机和线都弄断了，不织布？妈妈就对他说：“你现在不读书了，就等于织布机断了线一样，不能再织了。”孟子一想，原来我不读书，就等于织布机断了线一样，这是不行的。于是以后就用功读书，终于成了一个大圣人。
After Mencius studied for some time, he became bored and wanted to quit school. He was naughty and mischievous. His mother made a living by weaving cloth. When she saw her son quit studying, she cut the cloth on her loom and stopped weaving.
Mencius knew this was their only source of income, and he wondered what to do. When he asked his mother why she'd cut the cloth and stopped weaving, she answered, “If you don't study, it's just like cutting the cloth on the loom so that it cannot be woven anymore.” Mencius reflected, “Oh, I'd better not play hooky anymore.” After that, he studied hard and became a great sage.
所以，我并不是在反对这个国家，但是你任小孩子自由发展太过，也是一种错误的观念。由于小孩子就像一棵小树似的，长得很多枝枝枒枒，你若想它成一个材料，必须要把这些横枝都斩去，留一个正的根，这样才能够成为一个栋梁之材。所以，小孩子若是对的，当然由他自由发展去；如果他不对，应该教他改过一点。在这个国家，我发觉很多小孩子都是左撇子，写字、吃饭，做什么都用左手，这是不太方便的。右手属于柔顺，左手是属刚强，所以左撇子是不太好的。每一个家庭，如果有小孩子是左撇子，最好还是教他在学习的时候就能转过来，用右手写字、拿筷子等，这是好一点。因为向右是顺序，顺着次序去的。好像我们绕佛都是向右转的，这一切一切都是向右的。右手就比较灵活一点，也方便写字、吃饭，一切一切的都很顺利。所以我向有左撇子小孩的家庭做这样建议。说是这样说，不过你们若是一定教小孩子自由发展，那将来不听话，也是自由发展发来的。因为他说我要自由发展，我不听你的，你讲什么我也不听。所以到大了就做嬉皮，或者就做很多不合理的事情。从电视上会 让人学得很坏的，你若是教他看电视，那不也是自由发展吗？这都是一种影响力影响了他！所以若真自由发展，要怎么样呢？就要到山里头，电话也没有，电视也没有，什么都没有，完全与世界隔绝了。他在那个地方自由发展，好像山里头的树木和世人离开，那可以自由发展。因为它没有人了嘛！那地方没有人，你不自由发展也不行。若在社会上，有人在这儿，我们则应该维持一般的智慧、常识和行动。
I am not opposed to this country's methods, but I think it's wrong to give children too much freedom in their development. Children are like young trees with many shoots. If you want the tree to be useful, you have to prune the shoots so the tree will grow straight and tall. Then the tree can serve as a pillar. If a child is on the right path, then of course we can give him independence. If he is doing something wrong, we should give him some guidance to help him change. For instance, I've found that many left-handed American children write, eat, and do everything with their left hand. But being left-handed is sometimes inconvenient. The right hand is associated with gentleness, the left hand with obstinacy. That is why being left-handed is not very good. If a child shows a tendency to be left-handed, his or her parents should help him or her to learn to write and eat with the right hand. Going to the right (i.e. clockwise) is the natural order. We circumambulate the Buddha and do everything else in clockwise fashion. The right hand is more active, and thus more convenient for writing, eating, and other activities. This is my suggestion to parents of left-handed children.
If you allow your children to develop freely, they may not listen to you in the future. They will say, “I want to do as I please. No matter what you say, I won't listen.” When they grow up, they become hippies or do unprincipled things. From television, people can learn to be very bad.
You think you're letting your children develop freely by letting them watch TV? Actually, TV influences them too. To really let them develop freely, you should take them deep into the mountains, away from telephone and television, so that they are totally cut off from the world. Then they can develop freely, like the trees in the mountains, totally isolated from human influence. When there are no other people, they will develop freely whether they want to or not. But as long as we live in society, we should use wisdom and common sense, and maintain a certain standard of behavior.
我并不是反对左撇子，不过这左撇子的人，有的时候好像古里古怪，有一点不听话似的，这都是自由发展的关系。这个国家的小孩子，说让他自由发展，那么你们查一查，详细研究研究，在这些自由发展的小孩子里，有多少个是出来做总统的？是不是他自由发展，每一个都可以做总统？若可以这样子的话，那这个国家个个完全都变成总统了。如果不是这样子，那还是应该帮助他一点。帮助他一点，就是：对的，就让他自由发展；不对的，就应该告诉他不要那样子。
I am not against left-handed people, but they sometimes stand out as a bit unusual. Often they are not very obedient, because they were allowed to go their own way. Americans like to give their children a lot of freedom. Maybe we ought to do a survey and see how many children who are raised this way go on to become President. If children who receive a free upbringing can become President, we would have a nation full of presidents! If this is not the case, then we should give our children a little guidance. If they are on the right track, we can give them freedom. If not, we should correct them.
一九八三年三月二十日中午开示
于万佛圣城
A talk given on March 20, 1983,
at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas
